I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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