it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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