Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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