I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
