Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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