Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
