I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
