Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
