Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
