I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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