i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
