After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
