i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
