Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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