Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
