I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she peed on how many people?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
