I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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