"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
