Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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