I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
