she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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