I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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