i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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