Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize