You can't special order awesome
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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