Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
