U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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