She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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