Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
