420 ftw
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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