Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
