Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
