we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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