He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Randomize
