I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize