he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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