My balls are so social today.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
