did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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