dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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