worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
