the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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