The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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