I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
