Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
