ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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