Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need moral support for this bender
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
