Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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