Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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