Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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