Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
