"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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