So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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