what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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