i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
