closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
