I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
