I think I died a long time ago.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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