Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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