But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
