Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
