Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So much rum. So many feels.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
