I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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