I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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