thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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