just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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